Look, we know most people don't or won't get it. But for the few of you who actually understand that when International Speed Up The Earth Day doesn't reach the critical mass necessary to prevent the stopping of the Earth's rotation that we and everything on Earth will then float off into Space we have decided to make a limited number of space suits available to the highest bidders.
Stay tuned for auction details. And will someone please help me get this helmet off so I can sip my coffee?
Well, actually, The Speed Up The Earth Foundation cares about trees, wildlife, clean water, clean air and all that grfeen stuff but if people don't start joining us and turning out for International Speed Up The Earth Day, the clock will run out and all those trees, animals, water, air and everything else will drift off into outer space. And there's not enough space suits to go around.
No, you can't share my space suit. If I'm going to be drifting through the Universe in a space suit filled with pee it's going to be my pee and my pee alone.
Your conservation efforts and donations to all those Earth based non-profits will all be null and void when the Earth stops spinning. Are you beginning to understand the gravity of the situation? Or in this instance, the lack thereof?